


there's a scream inside that we all try to hide

by BobaAddict



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23169424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BobaAddict/pseuds/BobaAddict
Summary: And it eats us alive.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	there's a scream inside that we all try to hide

Wind Archer pulls on his scarf and bites down on it, vaguely aware of how his hand shakes as he attempts to take deep breaths. He feels like he doesn’t have enough air, despite the gentle, crisp breeze through the forest; he feels like he’s in a dark hole with no light, despite the lush greenery surrounding him from all four sides. As he sits on the tree branch, he pulls his legs close to his chest, wondering when there will be a day this stops happening.

A day he’s happier than he is anxious, a day his mind stops going to pessimistic places, a day he doesn’t feel like his mission defines his worth.

But doesn’t he only _exist_ for the sake of his mission? So how does it not define him? If it weren’t for The Darkness’s desire to corrupt the forest, he’d still be the wind, drifting between the leaves, relishing in the aromas of the flowers… What an easy life that was, free of worries, free of stress. But then Dark Enchantress came along, ruining the bliss and forcing Wind Archer to step up to the plate to defend the place he loves so dearly.

When he first began purifying spirits, he did it with the utmost zest and eagerness. But now… there’s nothing but the stress and the fear of failure—failure to be a proper guardian.

He doesn’t regret choosing this path. He’d continue defending the forest forever if he could, but the weight of his calling has been crushing him for what feels like forever. For the sake of everything, he’s usually brushed his personal feelings aside, but recently, they’ve been taking a physical toll.

His entire body trembles.

He hyperventilates.

He gets dangerously close to crying whenever he stops to think about everything.

He accidentally bites too hard on his scarf, tearing off a piece. Muttering a curse under his breath, he spits it out and releases the garment, allowing it to fall and hang loosely off of his neck. By now, his breathing has slowed, but the weight on his shoulders refuses to lift. He wants nothing more than to sleep for at least a few hours, but he knows he can’t do that.

Because there’s a forest to which he’s forever loyal.

He peers around the tree he’s sitting in, and his eyes are immediately drawn to the fallen spirit floating in the nearby clearing. Despite his heartbeat picking up once more, he leaps off the branch and aims his arrow.

As it pierces and purifies it into a beautiful dove, Wind Archer can’t help but watch as it flies away

and he wonders when his soul can be just as free.

**Author's Note:**

> idk. I spent like 30 minutes on this because I had an anxiety attack involving my responsibilities, between my final exams and moving out of my apartment and the pressure to self-quarantine as soon as I can. so yeah, I guess you could call this a vent fic, though it's not so personal to the point where I'm afraid to post it. I already characterize windy as someone who's low key anxious and overworked despite trying to hide it anyway so it's not like. off brand or anything 
> 
> also I guess I'm posting this just so I can have something up ~~while I work on the sequel to my aching chartreuse heart which I've already finished outlining~~


End file.
